I am blessed. *wink*

It's been a very long time since my last post. I've been very busy with things I have to focus on. And because of that I dunno where now to start. I just missed writing. :)


And since I feel writing / blogging here's my latest. :)




Registered Me! ♥


The title speaks itself. Am a proud Registered Master Electrician now. :) being a lady? Yes I am! Hahaha.


It's been 6 or 7 months since I started to accept the challenge to have a review and take a licensure exam for being a master electrician. It was indeed a great challenge. We started as 40 participants and ended as 38 for 1 of our classmates died 2 weeks before the exam.


It was painful for us. Francel de Leon was a very good man. He's one funny man. He always start the laughtrip times in the middle of the class. Yet an accident happend that led to his death. He's now in God's place.


Sad for our classmate we took the situation as a challenge. We pledged one thing. We'll pass the exam for Francel. And as we passed, Francel passed with us. 




And this is the result. :] I passed and lots of us passed. 

This is for you Pare! Thank You for the good times. :]

THANK GOD! ♥

Part 1 of the Unknown Status

It's been quite a long time since I wrote an entry about a cyst on my right breast. It's on tagalog when I 1st wrote it. And now still the answers aren't finally revealed. *sigh*


For the 8 hours on my work I didn't make something productive. I only stayed at the hospital until I get to know the answers.


I'm scheduled to have a breast ultrasound this morning. As the doctor do the thing I'm looking at the monitor - thinking what will the result be. I saw her mark some black shades - prayed those are not what I think.


After a few minutes she's done. I only need to wait for the result.

• Probably benign sonographic findings, bilateral breast. Suggest repeat sonogram of both breast after 3 months at day 5-7 of the menstrual cycle.

That's what it states. Still the answers that I've been waiting is UNKNOWN. I still have to wait for 3 months to know what my final condition is, and I only got 1 prescription for this situation to keep from being scary - PRAYER. With this all the pain that I'm feeling will be gone. I know. And I believe. :)

Mianhe - Goo Hye Sun ♥

Goodbye..

Thinking who choose on the past few days was an headache. But while I'm in the middle of thinking something just happened. He waved goodbye. Jc just waved goodbye.


He met with me last Thursday night but it didn't lasted at least a minute. Seeing each other just took for about 30seconds. And I think it's the last time that I will be seeing him again.


I think I have no choice anymore. Letting go was the hardest thing that I need to practice. It's not just letting go but moving on. I wish him happiness. And he will always be my 1st love.


Goodbye.

Am I? A deserving ONE?

Am I? A deserving ONE? That is the biggest question I have in mind. Do I really deserve this? This feeling to be loved by two guys I know I would hurt so much? I don't think so.

I am in so much confusion. Who am I gonna choose? The one whom I know loved me so much or the one whom I know my first love and will always be my first love? I just don't know.

This ain't a good feeling. Being love by two important people in my life. It's a big confusion.

With my Jacob I feel so happy everyday but I can't help when I feel like missing the other one. :| but with the other I felt so in loved with him but when I'm seeing him so weak and childish, I feel anger like I don't want to see him anymore. :|

Sana hindi..

Past 10 PM na nung maghinaw ako. Mainit kasi. Maganda maghalf-bath bago matulog para presko ang pakiramdam at malamig pag natulog. Habang sinasabon ko yung buong katawan ko, I felt something - parang may mali. Inulit ko ulit. This time, kinapa ko na talaga. Meron nga. Meron akong nakapang bukol sa left breast ko. Ilang beses ko siyang kinapa. Pinakiramdaman ko kung bukol ba talaga siya. Malaki chaka matigas. Syet! Habang kinakapa ko naiiyak ako. I was calling God. Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko but I was praying - hoping it's not what I think.

Walang pumapasok sa isip ko kundi takot. Pagka-bihis ko nagtext ako agad kay Jacob. We we're both panicking this time. Hindi pa kami sigurado pareho pero ang check-up lang talaga ang nasa isip namin para makasiguro. Pinipilit kong huwag isipin pero nararamdaman ko yung dibdib ko. :| at natatakot na naman ako. Bumalik na naman sa isip ko ang mga "last days thinking" ko nung isang araw. Mga paano kung tunay, paano kung ito na nga, paano kung malala. Ayaw ko isipin pero nagsusumiksik talaga sila sa isip ko.

"Hindi ko pa oras. Hindi pa dapat. Hindi pa pwede. Kelangan pa ako ng mga kapatid ko. LORD, please wag po muna". Paulit-ulit itong sinasabi ng utak ko. Bago matulog, hanggang sa makatulog ako ito lang dinadasal ko. Sana hindi ito totoo. Sana hindi ito ang kinatatakutan ko. Sana hindi. Sana hindi.

Hindi pa ako sure. Bukas magpapacheck-up ako sa clinic namin. Promise. Hindi ko papalagpasing ipatingin ito sa doctor namin. :|

SANA HINDI. SANA HINDI.

Heart's Day

It's already February and everyone's excited with the upcoming Valentine's Day. :) Who's gonna be my date? Hmm. There's one I'm booked that I know. It's my Jacob. As I said on my previous entries we were seeing each other again. And we've decided to meet on Monday besides we have lots of things to talk about.

I'm not thinking that it's gonna be a date. I really think that I would still prefer stayed at home after work by that time and have a move marathon ALONE.

I'm in the middle of confusion right now. I don't know who to choose - I feel like I'm happy when I'm with him yet a part of me is missing Jc still. :|

Heart's Day.. I'm not excited about you coming on Monday. Really. :|