a big fight

I explained. She over reacted. Shouted with bad words. Cried. Walked out. Sleep out.

That's what happened last night. At first it was a funny night. We are all laughing at each other's joke. But then suddenly something happened and changed her mood that made her say "Nakakasama ng loob." I really don't get why she reacted so bad on what I just said. Ayoko lang ng binibilangan nya ako ng ginawa nya sa responsibilidad ko dahil di ko pinaako sa kanya ang lahat. I know what my responsibilities are. And I never counted everything that I did to them. I never said anything for them to realize that I need help. I am a bread winner but I am proud of it. I'm happy with what I'm doing and no one forced me to do this. But please! We all know that I can't do this alone. So whatever man ang nagawa mo, you don't have to count everything that you have helped because I didn't forced you to do it.

I know they don't motivate themselves to help me. They always say "Kanino pa ba aasa kundi sa'yo lang?" What the hell was that? Does it mean because I carried and carrying everything no one's gonna help me on our living?

It hurts. Really hurts. I just realized that when I get old I can't rely on my younger siblings to take care of me. Like, as of now I'm thinking of abandoning me in the future because they already don't need me. When they're already done with me.

All I did was cry. Take every bad words and disrespect that I can get from her mouth. I've been trying to get use to it since we were young. "Wala akong pakialam sa'yo. Oo Marlette." I'm the oldest. But what I got from all the things that I've done were dis-respectfulness, bad words, and heart ache.

When will she learn to respect people? When will she learn to adjust to people? When will she realize that not all people will adjust on her attitude? When? It Couldn't be soon. Because she don't care. Never care. Especially to the people around her. To do people that care for her.