BOB Ong’s Ang Mga Kaibigan ni Mama Susan

 And so I’m done reading the book. Ang Mga Kaibigan ni Mama Susan. I was so excited to read this book when I saw someone posted it on facebook. I even asked myself what’s new with Bob Ong’s new book. And now I’m done. I already finished reading it days ago.


The book feels like horrifying. Different from other books Bob Ong wrote. When I get to finish it I still flipped the last page looking for more writings. And there I realized I was done. ” Huwaaaat? Yun lang?” That’s all I get to say. I’m speechless. The book just scared me a little but it disappointed me I think. It is really different from the others.


Despite of my disappointments I can still say… I’m a proud Bob Ong fanatic.

Welcoming 2011

Christmas celebration is done and now everyone’s preparing for the welcoming of the upcoming New Year. 2011.

Year 2010 has been meaningful for me. A year full of challenges, struggles, problems, etc. That year thought me a lot of things. I even got a wonderful treasuring love life within that year. Everything was a rocky road.

Encountering problems regarding money is the worst problem that year had ever given to me.
With this year I’ve learned a lot. Love a lot. Thank a lot. There’s much to enjoy in life that’s why I even learned of letting go.

With this year I’ll be treasuring lots of memories in life. Memories that I will always be thankful about. Memories that made me stronger and happier as I am now.


HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!


WELCOME 2011.

My JACOB..

I’m not in the mood to write about anything. I was just chatting with some of my friends, browsing on my pictures, and there I saw something that gave reason to write. Me and my Jacob’s pictures. 

It’s been two days since we broke up. It’s been two since I chose my “real happiness”. And as I browse my page I saw our picture.I don’t know if I have to untag myself on it or just leave it there. I thought of him. I don’t want to remember all the things that he had done for me yet their all keep on sneaking on my mind. I’m so mean, I know. Still I want him to be happy. Happy as I am right now.

He is my JACOB. And he will always be.

PAIN much..

It was yesterday December 26, 2010 I decided to end up my confusion. I chose to broke his heart. I texted him. Told him that I want a break up. I’m no longer in love with him. My heart is beating so fast. I feel guilty. I never wanted to hurt him but I want to be free.

We chose to see each other. We went to the mall where we celebrated our 1st year anniversary (wherein I don’t feel celebrating at all). We ate and took a walk. By the sea he told me to throw our couple ring. It was hard. Thought it’s gonna be easy yet I was wrong. I closed my eyes, lift my hand where my ring is, and threw it. I feel his pain. I was crying. Crying so hard. He is my JACOB. Now I know.

I let him enjoy the left time for the both of us. I walked with him, talked with him, ate dinner with him. He sent me home. Kiss me and hugged me so tight. By his hug he whispered “Thank You”.

It was painful for the both of us. I know how much he love me. But I’m not the one for him. I can’t feel myself in love with him. All I can say is I care for him. But LOVE? I don’t feel anymore.
I’m so sorry for hurting him. I prayed for his happiness. And I know I will always be here for him. As his FRIEND.

Oooh! Christmas! ♥

Yesterday I was like a weirdo whose been so emo about my tantrums on Christmas Day. I really thought that I will spend the holiday bored and unhappy. Yet everything changed yesterday. And I really need to share it out.

• Holiday Duty – LATE!

I’m scheduled to have a Holiday duty yesterday and guess what? I decided to come to work late for I want to finish the last Simbang Gabi mass. Wahaha. Instead of having a double paid duty I decided to turned it to a regular day duty. I’m 13 minutes late! Beat that! Haha! The greatest no.of minutes on my late list.

P.S. : I even saw my ex-bf and just realized who I really love. Sad for me. I smiled at him but didn’t let him notice everything that’s confusing me on.

• Starbucks : ♥

After my duty, bf sent me home. I changed clothes and off again to meet my best buds Jesus Habulan and Bing Kin Bagangan at Starbucks. Weeeh. Am really so excited to see them again. Haha! at last! Jess will make his promise come out to life. He’s gonna treat us for some coffee and cake. Yumyum! so we took off. Went o Shopwise to find something for our exchange gifts. I even look for something to give to my family. I saw a pair of slippers and just guess what size would fit to one of their feet. *sigh* I’m not really good at guessing sizes. Haha! I paid for the slippers, went to the gift wrapping station and huwala! I’m ready for our stupidity. Haha. After my bf went home I texted Jess to meet him. Seeing him again is relieving. I don’t know why but it’s like there’s something in his face that’s making me happy or laugh without him saying anything. We picked for the our lucky gift receiver. I got Jess, Jess got BK (Bing Kin) and the last paper that has my name was for BK. We really look stupid. We’re acting like it’s really a surprise for us to not knowing who got our names. Hahaha. So Jess and chose the FHM (For Him Magazine) as Jess’s gift for BK and then we get to see BK outside. Jess and I decided to wait BK at the coffe shop for he still have to look for his exchange gift. (As if I don’t know what he’s gonna give me. ) and so the chit-chatting started. We got lots of things to talked about. I really missed them so much. As we talk we exchange gifts and before we go home I got the best gift from them. Weeeh. I got what I really wanted for as a gift. Bob Ong’s Ang Mga Kaibigan ni Mama Susan (BK’s gift) and Starbucks 2011 Planner (their gift).

Now I can really say. I’m a spoiled brat when it comes this two guys. Haha. I soooo ♥ it!

• Christmas Mass

After seeing the boys I went to church to serve for the 8 and 10pm Christmas mass. It was so tiring, yet it’s fulfilling. I’m feeling like my stress were all gone. I just feel like I’m happy serving Him.

I went home. Gave my gifts to my family and saw them happy unwrapping gifts. I’m contented. I’ve got tons of problems but I get to celebrate Christmas better that the way I thought.

P.S. : Before I go to sleep I realized that I lost my bracelet where I put my Miraculous Medal pendant. Sad me. :/

Wondering what's happening..

Wondering so much about everything. What’s happening around me? What’s going on with my life? What’s wrong with me? Why am having this kind of feeling on my lovelife?

I really got so much questions running on my mind this days. Christmas is near yet I don’t feel happy and excited. Our 1st year anniversary is near yet I’m not even excited.

Here’s the thing. I feel like I wanted to be Single again. I’m afraid that I might hurt him but I want to be true to myself. I ain’t happy anymore. I’m just pretending to be happy with him because I don’t want to hurt him. I think I don’t love him anymore. I know I’m so mean for pretending so much but I’m doing this for him. I know how much he love me and it’s killing my entire conscience knowing that I’m not that in love with him.


Peace of mind I need you.

Excited NO MORE. :l

The last time I wrote here I was bragging about how happy I am on the upcoming Christmas Eve, how excited I am on how we're gonna spend the holiday, but now everything suddenly changed. I feel nothing. I ain't excited anymore. That is how I feel [currently].

I have no MONEY. I can't feel my FAMILY.

Being poor during Christmas days ain't an issue for me ever since. Money isn't a big deal for me. I know it's my biggest problem for the entire time of my existence yet I don't take it as something that will take away my happiness for everything. Though its controlling my life, still I prefer to exempt it on my emoness.

This is the real thing. I have no money to spend for the holidays. I've got lots of Godchildren to be looking for their presents on Christmas Day. And worst, I can't feel the presence of my whole family. Everyone's out. Their all somewhere else. I dunno. I actually don't understand. We were all sleeping in one roof yet I feel like I was living alone. Alone with every hindrances I might face in life. Alone with all their problems I chose to be my Responsibility. Alone with this dullness.

I feel really sad. I was so excited when December step out of the calendar yet I suddenly felt nothing as days pass by.

*sigh*

And I pray..
Lord, please give me HAPPINESS.
Please be my GUIDE.
Give my PEACE of MIND.
Wake them up for them to see what's really going on.


P.S.
I literally want to cry with this kind of feeling. :(

LAUREL clan..

I have this funny story to tell. Yesterday, we went to the site we're suppose to work. Without seeing the order we went to the customer. The funny thing is the customer and I have the same surname. LAUREL. Huwaw! That made me laugh. I didn't expected that I'll be working with the same surname as mine. And there my family background had been asked so many times.
It's a good thing for me to know that we we're real close relatives. Harhar. Now, I know, our blood is so close to their clan.


Here's the fact that I get to know according to my father.

• Mariano Laurel - my Grandfather's father; brother of Pres. Jose P. Laurel. Humaygas!
• Eugenio Laurel - my Grandfather; 1st cousin of Vice Pres. Doy Laurel. Humaygas!

Here's the question..
Am I Denise Laurel's 3rd cousin?! Huwaaat?! :D

CHRISTMAS is here ♥

Christmas is here! ♥ Last week my team already had a fun Christmas party at Laguna. It was so fun. We had lots of food to eat. We even played games. And we exchanged gifts. :]

***

Today is the start of Simbang Gabi. It's a 9 consecutive mass before Christmas eve. It is usually being attended by dawn but I decided to attend and serve last night for I have work [plus I don't want to come at work wearing my service uniform]. The mass for the night and dawn were just the same. It's just that the night mass is hours advance with the time. Attending this mass feels unexplainable. I feel happy and comf'table with this mass. Though it's a sacrifice on waking up too early, sacrifices are worth doing for. But since I'm attending the night mass instead of the dawn I can't feel the presence of Christmas. Maybe I'm just not fond of attending it in my unusual way.

I feel excited for Christmas to come.This year had given me such challenges I didn't expected how I encountered. Yet, I must say, I'm thankful. I know we're not gonna have a fruitful Christmas Eve because I lack of money but I know, though we don't have lots of food on that Eve we'll be happy coz' I have my family safe and complete.

For Christmas I can't ask for anything but I have lots to thank for. God have given me wonderful blessings. ♥

ADVANCE MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! :]

♥

Umagang kayBADTRIP.

Here's the thing. I just woke up by 6:30 AM. Badtrip!. I have to go to work! >_<Amp! Amp! Amp! I don't know how I didn't get to wake up early for work.Ampupu. Anong klaseng umaga ito? Sayang ang 1 araw na leave q! Josko! Nakakaiyak.


Nag-upload nalang ako ng mga pictures namin nung Christmas Party. Kainis talaga. Super Late = Vacation Leave. Ngayon lang nangyari sakin ito sa tanan ng buhay q. *sob*

killing BOREDOM..

Woke up 9 AM in the morning. Watched TV for a while and my boring day started again. *sigh*Wonderin’ what to do with the whole day. I’ve been thinking things I want to do.

I want to..

• watch movie outside
• have coffee and cake
• go to the Mall and window shop
• visit Jore and Jajai
• watch movies at home

Through all this stuff I didn’t got the chance to do one of these things. Deym! What a horrible day for me..  Boredom is on a killing spree inside of me. Waah. *sob*

P.S.

Because of this boredom it made me think even more of the disappointment I had last night at our Christmas Party. Malas.

Priceless HAPPINESS ♥

I just came home. Thinking what had happened to the issue I’ve been praying for. When I came in there was my youngest brother Utoy making noise. Crying out loud for TV. There was my cousine Louie, my other brother – Raymart‘s gf Annalyn, my other sister May-May, and my mother. I sat at the bed, gave my pasalubong to Utoy and started to know what happened to our issue.


I asked : “Anong nangyari Ma?”
Mama : “Ayos na. Tapos na. Nasangla ko yung bahay ng 40K kay Inday. Nagkapirmahan na. Nagkamay na sila.”


Teary eyed I saw the Affidavit that I’ve been praying for. GOD heard my prayers. He answered it. He gave my brother another chance. He gave me another HOPE.


I was soooooo HAPPY. I don’t know how to THANK Him. He is so Good.
Now I feel at ease. I feel like I want to cry because of so much Happiness. This Happiness is so Priceless.

Thank You Lord. Thank You so much. ♥

It's a Very Long Day

Today is a very long day for me. I had so much activities and it all started in a so early morning.

* Jog for Health

Woke up at 5:30AM to jog at a Memorial Park with Chayren Abalon (elementary classmate who turned to be my neighbor.  ). It’s like another first for me. I did the jogging thing way back 3 years ago when I was still doing a training for my job. That was I think the hardest thing for me because I jog with men and I have to go with their speed, jog at a very big area (because we have to jog at the whole compound), do the Karate training, and then do the Pole Climbing training. That was tiresome. It’s hard for a woman like me. But then I realized all of that thinking about my training days were wrong. I just realized that it’s harder to jog by this time for I gain weight. I just realized that I’m getting fatter as the day goes by. I’ve got a bigger belly today. *sigh* I’m not used to being that big. Though I’m not that big as fat people were but I look big because of my belly. *sob*. We did jog, exercised, and talked lots of things. And while doing the exercise (sit-ups) I noticed that it’s hard to get rid of those fats. Crap! I’ve got 3 piles of belly? Waaah. Tiring but funny. Now I have to work on that fats even harder. 

* Serve to the Lord

After we jog we went home by 7:00AM. Have a chit chat with my family members and argue again with my father. Why is it really hard for some people to realize their wrong doings? It’s just hard for me to explain everything but it’s easy for them to accused things on me. *sigh* I stop talking. Ate breakfast. Yummy fried rice and stirred egg. :] I took a bath and change clothes. Now I’m off to do my responsibilities to my Saviour. Serve. I’m excited. I’ve been absent for I think 3 weeks because of the things I need to finish. But it doesn’t matter. I’m happy to see my girls. I missed them. We had mass. Served for the baptism some 22 babies. Have a meeting regarding our upcoming Christmas Party and Election of new sets of Officers. Now I have this question running on my head.I’m getting older and I’m thinking if it’s the right time for me to resign on my ever loved Ministry? Hmm. I hope God will give me any sign about this.

* Walk Alone… Again?

After my service I went home. take a rest for a few minutes and changed clothes again. I have an appointment on someone. I need to talk to her. ( I can’t tell her name). I thought that my boyfriend would come with me but I was wrong. He’s not yet coming back home so I have to meet that person alone. I went to the meeting place. Look for her but she’s still not in there so I have to wait for her. I felt the call of my tummy. I’m hungry. Went on a food court and have 2 slices of pizza and a soft drink ALONE.

Currently, my day hasn’t pass yet. I haven’t met the person that I need to see. And to ease the boredom of being alone I’m now writing this blog off. 

Got to finish my task..

May God protect me on my Way Home… 

in the middle of DEPRESSION..

Online. Trying to find someone who could help me. Yet currently feeling…. failing.


I’m in the middle of depression right now. I don’t know where else to run, who else to call. I need HELP!


I’m getting more depressed than ever. I don’t know what to do.




*clueless* *hopeless*
I don’t want to think I’m hopeless.


I just need HELP.




P.S.
Do I really have to write all of my problems here? I hope not. *sigh*

DULLness.. *ughh*

This just came in. I’m not in the mood. Really not in the MOOD. I can’t understand. I just have this feeling like I want to be alone. Like, I miss feeling SINGLE.

I really can’t understand this kind of feeling. The feeling that I want to give up. Feeling so tired. Feeling nothing.

PEACE of MIND I need you.

walk ALONE :D

I’m at a mall somewhere at Alabang. Funny thing is I’m alone. Wahaha. I haven’t been this alone for so long. I used to go to malls with my someone or sometimes with bunch of friends.

I came here not to have fun but because I have to pick up something. Sadly, my jowa is having an overtime at work that’s why I came alone. *sigh* Lungkot much? I just found it boring to be sooooo ALONE. :]

My reason to come here is not yet ready. So I went to my so favorite Starbucks. ( I’m a coffee addict. :] ) Bought a Praline Mocha ( Frapuccino ) and walk around. Went to computer shop to surf the net for awhile (where I am right now) and do the other mission that I need to do.

And now.. I’m finding myself BORED.

Hmm. I wonder what to do next. I think I might just go home after I finished this. 

*buhbye*

P.S.
I’m L♥ng the Praline Mocha.